You

As I lay down, and attempt to close my eyes
In hopes of kissing the events of today goodbye
Theres a steady thought that keeps replaying itself in my mind
A thought so strong I had to pick up this pen and write.

So I
Search and dig for the tome which holds the secrets hidden in only the deepest parts of my mind
And I
Pick up this pen that bleeds the feelings and emotions that my lips cannot describe
And I
Think of the reason behind even beginning this lyrical ride
Then my mind flashes back to the thought of your smile.....the dimple in your cheek...the chink of your eye.
It gives me a tingle so deep my words cant describe
So i'll....bleed this ink hoping these feelings come out right
The same feelings and emotions I tried so desperately to hide.....
But I cant.

So sit back and relax as I take you on this poetic ride
And...begin to bleed out the thoughts that tend to haunt my mind
The thoughts that keep me from kissing yesterdays goodbye
The thoughts that all began with the beauty of your smile...the dimple in your cheek...the chink of your eyes.

When I first met you...the thought of liking you didnt even cross my mind
Because you were a female..and so was I
And that...hidden chapter of my life I had left behind
Because I just knew that if my mother found out..she'd most definitely die
So I....pushed the initial thoughts of persuing you aside....
Maybe it'd also help to mention that shit...im terribly shy

So..... upon introduction i looked you up and down...gently bit my lip..then forced myself to turn around
Continued to carry on the conversation that I was previously engaged in
All while saying "nasa, that initial thought you had...you better erase it"...so I did...
Or..at least I thought I had....but damn I fooled myself and I fooled myself bad.
Cuz they came back and they came back with a vengance
Snuck back in so quietly that at first they were undetected.

So we....chilled and we laughed...and we joked and we played
Your colors shone so bright, that all others began to fade
Like an insect to a light, I just couldn't pull away
But...by the time I realized what was happening...it was already too late.
For more reasons than one but those I wont attempt to explain...
Because you being my secret crush is how I want this to remain
So i'll press fast forward and skip the indentifying parts
You already know who you are and thats the most important part.

But bump you right now back to the topic at hand
When I think about you the only word that leaves my mouth is damn
Damn explains the good, but also makes way for the bad
Damn depicts how much you turn me on...but understands how I can still be sad
Damn fits perfectly before the phrase "if only you were mine"
But damn sounds even better after "nasa, stop wasting your time"
Cuz she's always on your mind...but hers is the abode of another
So why do you keep taunting yourself with this shoulda coulda woulda lover?
But damn I just cant help myself...she's the definiteion of beauty you see
Her sexy matches my sexi...she's one fly ass stud to me
Even though half of me is screaming "go for her"
The other half is screaming "nasa...let her be"....
She's content in her situation so if she's happy then im happy,
Thats the true role of a friend you see.

So i'll set my feelings to the side....stiffle the desire deep within me that resides
In hopes that one day what im feeling will subside
I know it wont happen over night but im willing to give it time
So until then..when I lay down and attempt to kiss yesterday goodbye
I guess I have no choice but to settle for the haunting of your smile......the dimple of your cheek....the chink of your eyes.